


Back To Gobbler's End

by ashadowonthewall



Category: Skins (UK)
Genre: F/F, Femslash, Old work, Post-Season/Series 04 AU, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-03
Updated: 2013-10-03
Packaged: 2017-12-28 07:37:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/989444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashadowonthewall/pseuds/ashadowonthewall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>“Don’t you recognise this road?”</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** Another one of my old fics from the _Skins_ fandom. Post-S4. Slightly AU because of the new series now. Unbeta'd.

  
[ ](http://s1139.photobucket.com/albums/n560/youtoxic/?action=view&current=4458272007_ed90cf056b.jpg)

_“Memory is a way of holding on to the things you love, the things you are, and the things you never want to lose.”_  
 **\- Kevin Arnold**  
\--

Effy is behind the wheel again for the first time in over two years. And as she drives onward she’s desperately hoping she hasn’t lost her touch.

“Where are we going anyway?” Katie asks; a distinct uncertainty in her voice that Effy can only respond to with a smile. She wants the trip to be a surprise, and she can tell that Katie is a little uneasy about the whole thing – the two of them going away together for the weekend. 

Katie has been a like that about everything for a long time; probably as far back as the day she’d decided to take care of Effy after everything that happened with Cook and John Foster when they first moved in together. 

She was all that Effy had left after that, and since Naomi and Emily were gone, it was the same for Katie too. It was only natural for the both of them to hold on to each other when everyone was gone, and it was nothing short of ironic and amusing, given that Effy couldn’t remember a lot of happy moments between her and Katie. Not from the first moment they met. 

But things had changed since then. _They’d_ changed, in ways neither of them ever thought they could.

It reminded Effy of her brother, in a way, and his friendship with Maxxie. During all those months when Tony was still trying to regain himself after his accident, learning to write, learning to read, to swim, and to do everything he couldn’t do after he was hit by the bus. She and Maxxie were the only two people who were there for him. 

Sid was too busy either fucking Michelle or moping around over Cassie, and he was supposed to be Tony’s best friend. The same way Pandora was supposed to be Effy’s. Effy knew it was unfair to think that Panda had abandoned her, but she couldn’t help it. She needed someone to be there for her when she lost herself just like her brother, especially after she’d received notice about Freddie’s death and Cook’s incarceration. 

Katie was the unexpected companion who held her hand, and took care of her all those months, and Effy had no way of showing her appreciation until recently, though she knew that the surprise would probably insult Katie at first, and probably shock her but she knew Katie wouldn’t take it to heart or at least she hoped she wouldn’t.

\-- 

“Are you going to tell me where the fuck we’re going or not?” Katie asks again, raising her voice this time. “I should have known better than to let you behind the wheel again for fuck’s sake”.

“Don’t you recognize this road?” Effy says.

Katie stops talking for a moment, and looks at their surroundings.

“No…f…fuck!” she exclaims. “Turn around!”

“What? No!” Effy tells her. “We’re camping out aren’t we? That’s what you wanted isn’t it?”

Katie starts panicking and breathing hard, she wants to speak but the words keep getting caught in her throat.

“Are you…I can’t…what the…this is sick, you know?”

“Calm down Katie,” Effy says, removing a hand from the steering wheel, placing it on Katie’s trying to calm her down. “It’ll be nice, I promise. No rocks this time. Just the two of us, yeah?”

“I fucking hate you,” Katie says.

“No you don’t,” Effy jokes, putting her hand back on the wheel and driving on. “But you can be so cute when you pretend”. 

“How fucking long are we gonna stay there?” Katie asks.

“Just for the night. I promise it’ll be good”.

“It better be. And you owe me after this babes!”

The road is clearer than it was back then, almost two years ago when the gang had got together to go out camping for the night. Effy remembers how awful she felt that day as she drove on, it wasn’t too long after she’d walked in on Katie and Freddie snogging in the shed. She felt like a terrible person because she was still fucking Cook even though it meant nothing to her, and by then had felt like nothing too. 

She thought she loved Freddie back then, how wrong she was. 

\--

She’s surprised Katie hasn’t recognised the road earlier, but she can tell she’s upset. Of course she would be; this is Gobblers End; the same place where they’d got into that fight, and that dreadful incident with the rock happened. 

Effy thought it would be a good idea to try camping a second time, but seeing the look on Katie’s face makes her think she’s made a terrible mistake.

Either way, there’s no going back. They’re already driving on and Effy doesn’t see the point of turning around, otherwise the trip would be a complete waste of time. 

She’ll try to make Katie as comfortable as possible. 

\--

It won’t be long, she can tell. And they’re not stopping anywhere this time. That last encounter with those poachers was bad enough and Effy has brought enough supplies – food, drink, spliff, sleeping bags and a change of clothes – to keep them through the night. 

Most importantly, she’s got her medication with her as well. It’s stuffed in the pocket of her woolen sweater, Freddie’s old sweater; the one she’d kept as a reminder of him, that along with his diary and the photograph of Freddie, Cook and JJ together at a carnival dressed in their musketeer’s costumes.

The three boys who loved her – that was how she always saw them. She still sees them that way now, even though Freddie is dead, Cook is in prison and JJ grew up and learned to forget her (lucky him). But she prefers to remember them that way for fear of growing resentful. 

Just as Effy prefers to see Katie as the angel who took her up to that float when she’d had a panic attack at the Judgment Day parade, the one who stayed the night at the hospital after she’d almost killed herself, rather than the petty girl who used to follow her around at college and tried to be her friend when Effy didn’t want her around, the one who – out of jealous rage – almost strangled the life out of her that night at Gobblers End.

She’s decided that she’ll believe whatever she wants to believe to make her life better; if that’s what madness is then she doesn’t want to be sane. 

\--

The sky is grey and colorless, and it’s late in the afternoon by the time they make it there. Effy parks the car in the same place she did the last time they’d camped out. Katie still looks nervous and Effy looks at her and smiles.

“C’mon, it’s not that bad,” she whispers, taking her by the hand. “We can camp out here for the night, it’ll be fun”.

“Fun?” Katie says angrily. “It wasn’t fun last time, what with you bringing magic mushrooms to my fucking party then hitting me over the head with a pissing rock!”

“I thought we were past that Katie,” Effy says. “I mean…we’ve been living together how long now? Five months? Six? What difference does it make?”

“The difference, babes,” Katie says, eying her. “Is that I thought were going somewhere nice. I don’t like taking fucking trips down memory lane thank you very much, especially not the ones that remind me of how fucked up you can be when you try. I don’t know about you Effy, but I don’t like coming back to the place that reminds me of when I almost died. Maybe one of these days I’ll take you back to that place where Freddie’s granddad lives…you know, the one where you slashed your wrists in the toilet”.

Effy feels a growing pain in her chest at the mention of that incident. She knows Katie has just said it out of anger, but it hurts nonetheless.

“That isn’t fair, Katie” she whispers, trying to hold back the tears as she steps out of the car, breathing deeply.

She pulls a pack of fags out of her pocket and places one to her mouth when she realizes she doesn’t have a lighter. She turns to look at Katie through the window and Katie still doesn’t look happy.

Effy can already feel that it’s going to be a long afternoon, and an even longer night. 

\--

They set up their tent, their sleeping bags and everything else they need to keep them through the night, but Effy can still see that sour look on Katie’s face. She wants to walk over to her and hug her, tell her that she doesn’t have to be nervous but it doesn’t look like it’ll be that easy.

She remembers how Katie walked away from her when everyone started eating the shrooms. She didn’t understand it at the time but now she does. 

Katie wasn’t upset because of some stupid psychedelic mushroom feast. She was upset because Effy had something she didn’t. And it wasn’t just Freddie, it was everything. 

Effy too, knew why Katie felt that way. She’d come to see it now, after all those months they’d spent living together. In her way, Katie was – and is – still envious of her. Effy wishes she could tell her that being lusted by everyone and especially by a man who was willing to commit murder for it, is not a good thing. 

But Katie is insecure, always has been. It’s just who she is. Effy doesn’t know how many early morning complements and kisses will do anything to change that. Perhaps Katie will always feel that bad about herself, but Effy knows as long as they’re together Katie at least has someone to cling to when it gets too dark.

Katie needs Effy just as much as Effy needs her. 

Who would have thought the two of them would end up that way? It didn’t turn out to be as terrible as they thought it would be.

As all things in life it was unexpected. Naomi and Emily understood it, they approved. They didn’t know the two of them had grown to become more than friends though.

\--

“Here, let me help you with that,” Effy says noticing how Katie is struggling with getting the tent to stay still. 

“Go away,” Katie barks at her.

“Don’t be petty,” Effy says, and Katie throws her hands up in the air and turns her back to Effy who just stands there trying to think of something – _anything_ – to say to make things less awkward.

She decides that words will only make it worse and doesn’t speak but walks over and touches Katie, placing her hand on her shoulder and moving in closer until she’s resting her head on Katie’s, the smell of her shampoo filling Effy’s nostrils as she tugs her closer, moving her lips down to kiss her neck.

“Don’t fucking think you’re flirting your way out of this,” Katie warns, turning around pointing a finger at her, but Effy can tell she’s already trying to stifle a laugh – they both are.

“C’mon,” she tells her. “We can get pissed and run around naked like foxes!”

“Eff…we don’t have that much booze. And how do you come up with this crap? Seriously.

“We’ve still got some of that spliff left over from a few days back don’t we?” Effy asks, hoping and praying in her head that Katie won’t say no.

“There’s hardly any left,” Katie whines. “I don’t know how I let you get me into this. I swear, one of these days I’ll be staying in all day and not going to work because you’ve kept me up all night”.

“I thought I already do that,” Effy jokes, poking Katie in the side playfully. “Keeping you up all night that is”.

“Yeah…sometimes,” Katie says, hanging her head down. “I don’t know how we’re going to tell Naomi and Emily about…you know…when they get back”.

“Oh, there’s nothing to tell is there?”

“Don’t play fucking stupid Eff,” Katie says, shoving her lightly as Effy keeps poking Katie with the tips of her fingers. “We've been living together for almost a year now. Your fucking clothes and your toothbrush are at my place. We share a bed, and late at night we get drunk and fu…”

“Just tell them the truth,” Effy tells her. “Emily will understand”.

“Will she?” Katie asks, that vulnerability in her tone of voice that makes Effy want to pull her into a hug and squeeze her tightly, assure her by telling her everything will be alright.

“Emsy will hate me forever, you know?”

“Maybe,” Effy says, shrugging her shoulders. “But it’s better to tell them the truth than to go on pretending we’re just roommates. Can you believe how awkward it’ll be when the two of them try to fucking set us up with other people?”

“Oh, fuck!” Katie says, pressing her hand to her face. “Alright. You’ve convinced me”.

“As always, Katiekins!”

\--

Effy takes her by the hand and they go on a jog through the woods, or rather Effy is pulling her by the hand as Katie reluctancly follows.

“Hey, what are you doing, babes? We can’t leave our stuff back there?”

“What are you scared of Katie?” Effy calls turning to look behind her as the two of them run forward, picking up the pace. “The big bad poachers won’t come to steal our food and clothes”.

“No, it’s…fuck! We don’t even have warm clothes for fuck’s sake.”

“What? That jumper you’re wearing isn’t enough? Not quite like leopard print is it Katie?”

“Fuck off,” Katie says, laughing out loud. “You still owe me one, you know”.

They keep on running on for a while until Effy comes to a stop. She’s out of breath and the two of them are tired and don’t want to go too far.

A stormy cloud fills the sky, and Effy feels the trickle of raindrops falling down on her face and hands. She didn’t expect rain, but she’s not complaining. She’s walked the streets on a rainy night many a time before, there was once a time when Katie had to drag her back into the home because she couldn’t stop standing out there, her arms stretched out, letting the rain fall down on her.

It’s the same for her then as she looks up into the sky, the trees so much taller than her, the rainwater coming down to cleanse her of bad memories and terrible mistakes. She loves the feeling, in some ways it’s better than getting high.

The rain pours down harder and Katie covers her head.

“Oh, shit. My hair!” she shouts. “Effy, c’mon. We’ve got to get back to the tents”.

It’s Katie grabbing Effy by the hand the second time, and Effy giggles playfully as the they run back to where they came from, trying hard not to trip and fall over some fallen logs or little stones.

By the time they make it back their clothes are soaked and neither of them can be bothered putting up a second tent, not that sharing one would be a problem. It’s pretty silly, given that they already share a bed.

They can still hear the rain pouring down hard when they slip under the tent, protected by the thick sheet of multi-colored fabric. Katie curses under her breath when she realizes she’s left some of the supplies outside and rushes out to get them before slipping back under, groaning while wiping her face with her hands.

Effy lies down, closing her eyes and catching her breath, she bursts into laughter for a moment before resting her head back, adjusting her hair; tying it back and upward, before looking at Katie who’s still trying to make sure they hadn’t forgotten anything.

“We should do this more often.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Katie exclaims. “Next time…we’re sticking to staying indoors and getting trashed, okay?”


	2. Chapter 2

Katie’s stripping off her wet clothes slowly and Effy looks up to catch a view of her cleavage when Katie bends down to put them on the floor. If there’s one thing that prevents her from drifting off to sleep at night it’s the sight of Katie’s tits. Back in the day Effy didn’t give really a toss about them; at college when Katie would practically flash them to anyone and everyone when she walked around in those low-cut tops.

There was this one time, however, when Effy thought about them when she wanked. Or about the time when she’d caught a glimpse of Katie’s arse and that cute blue thong she wore underneath her leopard print skirt, when she bent down to pick up a can from the vending machine. But it was no big deal to her because she’d wanked to almost everyone; Naomi, Emily, Freddie, Cook…even Panda’s boobs were kind of impressive, enough to get her off once, at least.

“Are you going to relax yet or what?” she says to her, watching as Katie keeps trying to adjust her clothes into a heap on the floor.

“You better get yours off too Effy,” Katie tells her, “unless you want to get sick”.

“Come here then”.

“Oh, fuck’s sake!”

Effy’s already stripping off her sweater when Katie comes over, straddled on top of her, her tits in full view. It reminds her of that time when she’d woken up to Katie calling her a “desperate whore” something or other back when they were here the first time, she can’t remember. 

The only words that manage to come out of Effy’s mouth then sound like something Cook would say.

“He was right,” she whispers softly. “Your tits really do look mint from this angle”.

Katie sighs.

“Get this off will you?” she says, lifting Effy’s top over her head, surprised to find out that Effy isn’t wearing a bra underneath.

Effy doesn’t even bother covering them just looks up at Katie whose eyes widen then before she opens her mouth to speak.

“Babes…did your tits, like, grow to immense proportions when I wasn’t looking?”

“You’ve seen them before haven’t you?” Effy says, winking. “Or were we too off our fucking heads to remember?”

“Yeah well, I think this is the first time we’ve been naked in the same room while sober”.

“Good,” Effy says, “Because I’m wet”.

“Yeah, I can see that,” Katie replies, laughing, “fucking running around in the rain like that”.

“No,” Effy’s voice lowers and she’s looking up at Katie with a serious look. She slips a finger down her jeans through the elastic of her knickers and touches herself before bringing her hand back up, running her damp fingers across Katie’s lips, slipping one into her mouth as Katie takes the hint and sucks gently, tasting Effy on her fingertips.

“I’m wet for you.”

\--

It doesn’t take that much for them to finally get to it after that. Not much at all really. 

Katie’s body is trembling when Effy pulls her down to the floor, pining her arms behind her as she sucks on the skin of Katie’s neck, and she knows it’s not from the cold. Effy feels the butterflies in her stomach as well, the nervousness, the pins and needles in her toes and fingertips. 

She shouldn’t feel this way – neither of them should. They’d done this before, of course. But it’s different now, because they’re both sober. It’s not like what it used to be all those months back when they first got to it, one night after the two of them got fucked off their heads after going out to a local club, the awkward morning confusion masked by a sudden onslaught of hangovers and nausea. All possible talk of what had actually happened the previous night conveniently avoided.

They know it’s going to be different, now and it scares Effy, she can tell it scares Katie too, but somehow it’s better that way; thrilling, like taking a new drug and not knowing what it’ll do to you.

She could easily get addicted to this. It wouldn’t be difficult since she loves the feeling of Katie’s skin against hers, the smell of her, her hair, that cute button nose brushing against her own as they kiss, the dampening between her legs when Effy slips a finger into Katie watching Katie’s back arch, her full tits perked upward when her body contorts in pleasure.

“Oh…Effy!”

She loves it when Katie screams her name, and she returns the favor, watching Katie’s body tremble at the sound. Effy knows Katie loves the husk of her voice, and as she moves in closer, her lips pressed to Katie’s ear fucking her with her fingers, slow and deep, she talks dirty to her and Katie’s eyes roll in the back of her head, her legs feeling like jelly when she finally gives in, gushing on Effy’s hand.

They don’t even realize the rain has stopped.

\--

Effy’s laying flat on her back, her legs spread wide with Katie’s head buried between her legs. The two of them are completely naked then, their bodies flushed, hot and almost completely spent from fucking for what seems like hours. They’ve sort of lost count of how many times they came, and that’s what’s great about places like these…it’s like there’s no time at all. Effy figures it’s probably early in the morning, but it’s still dark and she and Katie are nowhere near finished.

Katie doesn’t go down on her very often, but Effy loves it when she does. It’s strange because even though she’s not that experienced – neither of them are; they’re not _gay_ after all; at least not the same way Naomi and Emily are – it still makes her feel so good, and not like it was with guys, though Cook was pretty fucking good at it too, when he wasn’t being completely selfish cunt and had her go down on him half of the time.

The warmth of Katie’s tongue fills her pussy, and Effy’s hand slips down to find her clit, circling in motion with Katie, getting herself off while taking every moment to enjoy it, listening to the sound of Katie’s muffled moans as her mouth sucks at her cunt juices. 

Effy places her other hand down on the back of Katie’s head and pushes downward and Katie complies, licking, sucking and occasionally spitting until Effy feels herself coming closer, her fingers moving at rapid speed until her back arches and she lets herself go coming hard and filling Katie’s mouth with the taste of her.

She pulls Katie up to her chest when the two of them are done, breathing hard through her nose, feeling the beat of her heart thumping against Katie’s ears as Katie slowly drifts off, the two of them naked in each other’s arms, Effy’s hand stroking the softness of Katie’s face.

She pulls a blanket over her and Katie because she knows it’ll be freezing in the morning. They lay there together, Katie already fast asleep and Effy looking up one last time before closing her eyes hoping she won’t stay up too long so that she won’t become all groggy in the morning, which is something she’d experienced many a time before after a night with Katie.

She doesn’t know what they’re going to do in the morning, but she wishes they could stay for longer. Maybe she’ll convince Katie that they can.

\--

By the time she feels the sun shining down on her face Effy turns to find Katie on the other side of the tent, still sleeping with her back turned to her. It’s always like that; one minute Katie is in Effy’s arms, and the next she’s in the kitchen making breakfast or sleeping on the floor, something or other.

Effy looks around for the pills; she hopes she hasn’t spilled them last night when she and Katie threw their clothes away but thankfully she didn’t. She puts one to her mouth and grabs a bottle of water, lying just by the heap of Katie’s wet clothes near the entrance of the tent and swallows it down. She doesn’t feel bad, or scared, or crazy but she knows she has to take them regularly if she wants to feel this okay all the time.

Over by the far end of the tent, past where Katie is sleeping are Effy’s clothes. She grabs them and slowly puts them on; her t-shirt, sweater and jeans – it’s almost amazing how much her dress sense has changed since the last time she’d come to Gobblers End.

In one of the bags she finds Pato. Bringing him closer to her chest, she strokes his head and looks out through the entrance of the tent. She wants to go for a walk but she doesn’t want to leave Katie behind.

Effy moves in to kiss Katie on the skin of her exposed back and tells her she won’t be long, only to be met with a tired groan. She steps out of the tent, still holding Pato in her arms as she begins her walk.

She’s not even going anywhere in particular but she can’t seem to stop moving. Effy hopes she doesn’t lose her way or something because that would be really stupid. She takes a look at her surroundings, the wetness of the grass, the smell of bark and rainwater filling her nose, the gray sky with the occasional white cloud drifting in the horizon. 

There’s a road up ahead; Effy doesn’t know where it’s leading to but she doesn’t think she can go on any longer, at least not without Katie. She turns around and tries to stick to the same path so that it leads her back to the tent and thankfully it does, even though she’s got her eyes to the ground while walking.

Katie shuffles around on her side of the bed when Effy gets back, and Effy pressed Pato to Katie’s nose, laughing when Katie makes an irritated face before opening her eyes to wake up.

“Pato’s telling Katie to wake up now,” she says. 

“Time to leave already, eh?” Katie asks groggily.

Effy sighs. “Yeah, unless you want to stay here longer?”

“Nah…I want my bed. Sleeping in this fucking tent is like sleeping on a log”. 

“I hope you don’t mind driving then,” Effy says.

“What? You’re the one who brought me here”.

“I know, but since we both have a license now, I think it’s fair that we take turns don’t you?”

“You’re still a colossal bitch you know that?” Katie jokes as she lifts herself up to kiss Effy on the lips. “By the way…last night was…”

“Amazing”.

“Yeah, it was,” Katie, says, kissing her a second time. “It really was”.

\--

The drive back feels longer somehow, but when Effy looks out the window she sees a lot of what she missed back then when she first came to Gobblers End.

For a place that terrified her once, a place that haunted her dreams for over a year, the woods really were beautiful and even more so now that she was taking the time to look at them. 

She turns occasionally to smile at Katie who keeps her eyes on the road as she drives on. To think that almost two years ago they’d had a fight in the woods that seemed pointless now in comparison when they could have had what they had last night back then.

Effy smiles to herself because she knows she’ll look back at this place with fond memories now instead of bad. It’s no longer the dark forest of nightmares, but a calm serene place she’d shared with someone she cares about, someone she loves, and who loves her back. The drive back home is not one of fear and anxiety but one of hope for the future, her future, with Katie.

If replacing bad memories with good ones is her therapy, then this is the best kind. And for a moment she thinks she might finally be able to move on.

Effy Stonem is looking forward to what she might find at the end of the road when she gets there, and with Katie’s hand in hers the two of them smiling at each other as they drive away from Gobblers End, she knows she’ll be able to face anything this time.

**Fin.**


End file.
